How to text someone on Instagram

I’ve been on Instagram since 2012 under my username @axlek. I’ve written a lot with strangers there and also messaged people. Not only that, but I also had a lot of online dating experience, all of which goes into this article.

I will simply tell you in this article what I can say in several years of experience on the subject. Of course, this is my subjective opinion, which I have collected through my own experiences. Maybe you make different experiences there. Therefore, maybe don’t take this as a guide, but rather as a manual that you can try out and adapt.


How to text someone on Instagram:
Don’t address them with “Hey”

“Hey”, is probably the most unimaginative message you can write. You can assume that people who get messaged a lot won’t even reply to such messages, because it’s just such a boring message.

You want to be noticed and that positively. So pick a topic that the person you are writing to likes. Write about it, ask a question or something similar to start a conversation. This makes it more casual and easier.

Also, as an insider tip, I would just try to write to someone directly by replying to the person on a story. This actually always seems pretty natural since you have something to respond too directly.

Since the creator of the story has published it of his own free will, you can assume that he will also look at the responses to the story and, if necessary, respond to them.

Have a public profile

It is always a good idea to have a public profile when you are writing to someone. This way, you also allow someone to see who you are. If you don’t do that, you’ll seem a little weirder right away and people will trust you less.

It’s the same with writing to private profiles. In general, this seems rather strange, because these profiles already do not want to be found, except by friends and family. You will probably only have found the profile because you already know the person in some way.

Otherwise, it is generally quite strange if you do not know the person, only see the profile picture and write to this person. Since I would leave it, perhaps simply completely.

Overcome your fears

You probably landed on this article because you question yourself and don’t want to be seen as an odd person by the other. Try to realize that first and then look at why it’s so important to you.

You need to develop a mentality that you can also not care how the other person thinks about you to write normally here. Otherwise, you will analyze everything you write in your head and think more about the words you write than the recipient would.

Therefore, just relax for now and say goodbye to the mindset of “everything has to work out the way I imagine it”. Just let it happen the way it will happen.

Alternative method through signals

I am not a huge fan of this method, however, there are more subtle signals to make contact with someone. For example, you can just keep liking pictures of the person. If the person then also likes pictures of you again and again, the contact is probably more desired than if nothing is liked back.

It can also be that the person writes to you if you like something from the person again and again. Depending on how big the profile is, you often get likes.

Thus, you can quasi first test whether there is any interest to write, or whether it comes rather only from you. However, someone can not even perceive these signals and therefore never contact. Therefore, I consider the method rather bad.

Just send a message

If you want clarity, then willy-nilly you’ll just have to write. Because you’ll never get a response if you never write anything. You sometimes have to take your chances first, no matter how low the chance is. The chance can only increase by writing.

Besides, you don’t have to be afraid if you don’t know the person at all, then nothing worse can happen than that the person simply doesn’t answer you. And that’s just the way life is. Don’t worry about such things.

Understand when the person is not interested

If a person doesn’t respond, you don’t need to be pushy and write a new message every day. It won’t help you, and it will look really weird and intrusive. If the person you want to write to only answers very briefly, then the contact is not desired.

If you get only “aha”, or “okay” as an answer, then you do not need to write further. Then the other person simply has no desire to write with you.

You must accept these things then but also, because no one likes someone who always continues to write, although no answer comes or the like.


In general, writing to someone shouldn’t be that hard. The difficulty is just the anxiety you have as you run it through your head 100 times and chew over things too much.

Don’t think about things longer and more than the person who is supposed to get the message. After all, that doesn’t help anyone. Besides, if you don’t start writing, then you’ll never know if the person had replied.

All in all, I think it’s important that your profile is public, that you respond to something instead of just writing “Hey” or “Hello”.

Everything else you will learn from your own experiences, I think.

I have also written other articles about love in this category. Maybe you are interested in more articles: Category Love.

If you have any other questions about the topic, feel free to write them in the comments. I will try to answer every comment under this article or even add this question to my article.